Karleen wrote:
>I think that the answer to this is to provide lots of information about what
has worked and what has not for mothers and to be honest, "this works for
some and not for others." Literature that says that this works for everyone
is just as bad IMO as literature that says that this won't work so don't
bother trying.  The other thing that I think that we need to be wary of is
trying to protect mothers from being disappointed or hurt. If a mum has
really wanted to breastfeed her baby and despite her best efforts it has not
worked out how she wanted to she has a right to grieve and it's important
that she be allowed to grieve. It is also important that women be allowed to
try, that they don't have any regrets of wondering "what if" <

I cannot agree more about projecting optomism. We all know how
sensitive nursing mothers are to adverse criticism. I remember an
occasion when I was tandem nursing my new baby with her older brother
and a visiting relative made a remark about how I could not possible
have enough milk for both children. Just then, both babes came off
their breasts because my milk literally stopped letting down. I was so
shaken that I had to go into another room to calm myself before I
could resume feeding them.
Here is another example. When my MIL was preparing to move down to
Florida from New Jersey (in the 1940s) with her toddler and her two
month old, her doctor warned her that the journey (by train) would
probably be so stressful that she would lose her milk. Sure enough,
the first time the baby needed to nurse on the train, there was *no
milk* and she was so grateful that the doc had written out a formula
recipe for her. Her baby had never had a bottle before and she had no
engorgement after this very abrupt weaning. Her milk simply stopped.

One of the most successful approaches that I have used is to explain
that many mothers have been able to relactate AND that it does take a
lot of work over a period of time.
Most people have no idea of how much time and effort they need to
invest. So often it is an either/or situation. If they cannot bring in
a complete milk supply within so many days, why bother?  So we talk
not only about the mechanics of relactation, but also about the value
of every single drop of milk, the benefits of keeping going through
the occaisional plateaux and,  of course, the actual NURSING
experience - nurturing a baby at the breast.
Sometimes the mother decides that the doesn't have the time to nurse
and/or pump and/or use a lactaid or SNSs. She realizes that her dream
of just putting the baby to breast and getting both a perfect latch
and an instant milk supply was not realistic. That is her choice.
While I am always sad, at least I know that she was able to make an
informed decision.  But I do rejoice when a mother decides that this
is something she CAN do, because more often than not, she succeeds in
meeting her goals.

norma

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html