Karleen wrote: >I think that the answer to this is to provide lots of information about what has worked and what has not for mothers and to be honest, "this works for some and not for others." Literature that says that this works for everyone is just as bad IMO as literature that says that this won't work so don't bother trying. The other thing that I think that we need to be wary of is trying to protect mothers from being disappointed or hurt. If a mum has really wanted to breastfeed her baby and despite her best efforts it has not worked out how she wanted to she has a right to grieve and it's important that she be allowed to grieve. It is also important that women be allowed to try, that they don't have any regrets of wondering "what if" < I cannot agree more about projecting optomism. We all know how sensitive nursing mothers are to adverse criticism. I remember an occasion when I was tandem nursing my new baby with her older brother and a visiting relative made a remark about how I could not possible have enough milk for both children. Just then, both babes came off their breasts because my milk literally stopped letting down. I was so shaken that I had to go into another room to calm myself before I could resume feeding them. Here is another example. When my MIL was preparing to move down to Florida from New Jersey (in the 1940s) with her toddler and her two month old, her doctor warned her that the journey (by train) would probably be so stressful that she would lose her milk. Sure enough, the first time the baby needed to nurse on the train, there was *no milk* and she was so grateful that the doc had written out a formula recipe for her. Her baby had never had a bottle before and she had no engorgement after this very abrupt weaning. Her milk simply stopped. One of the most successful approaches that I have used is to explain that many mothers have been able to relactate AND that it does take a lot of work over a period of time. Most people have no idea of how much time and effort they need to invest. So often it is an either/or situation. If they cannot bring in a complete milk supply within so many days, why bother? So we talk not only about the mechanics of relactation, but also about the value of every single drop of milk, the benefits of keeping going through the occaisional plateaux and, of course, the actual NURSING experience - nurturing a baby at the breast. Sometimes the mother decides that the doesn't have the time to nurse and/or pump and/or use a lactaid or SNSs. She realizes that her dream of just putting the baby to breast and getting both a perfect latch and an instant milk supply was not realistic. That is her choice. While I am always sad, at least I know that she was able to make an informed decision. But I do rejoice when a mother decides that this is something she CAN do, because more often than not, she succeeds in meeting her goals. norma *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html