>We have recently had a Mom (and she is not the first, unfortunately) who was
>HIV + have a baby who was admitted to the NICU.  Mom's condition is UNKNOWN
>to Dad!

Seems to me that a social worker needs to be brought in to
work with the Mom on this one. She may need help and support
in figuring out how to tell the Dad and empowering her to do
so.
Also, while legally you cannot tell him the mother's HIV status,
is the same true of the baby's status? It is his child too after
all and he is also responsible for the baby's care.

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