I am a passionate supporter of breastfeeding BUT
comparing bottlefeeding to drug use, or smoking, or not putting baby in a car seat is no
more valid than folks who compare breastfeeding in public with urinating in public. It
ain't the same.
I agree that we shouldn't present breast or bottle as an equal choice, but to make
comparisons with drug users is what gives us a 'fanatical' name.
We should be presenting breastfeeding as the biological norm, just as we present vaginal
birth as the 'normal' way to have a baby, we need to present breastfeeding as the 'normal'
way to feed. We know that surgical births are more risky in many ways and that the mothers
who have 'elective' caesarians really should be informed of all the risks, yet do we
consider a mother who elects to have a caesarian section neglectful? Even if she has it
because she is worried about having a painful, but natural birth? or 'ruining' her most
delicate parts? Do we judge a mother who has failed previously to give birth naturally,
because of mismanagement or misinformation, when she chooses to have her subsequent babies
by caesarian again?
I think the answer in most cases would be "no". Therefore we should consider those who,
yes, are told that breastfeeding is best for their baby and for them, but still feel that
somehow they can't or won't be able to go through with it. Just as you would gently
educate a mother who was choosing an elective caesarian over a natural birth, we need to
educate those mums who choose formula over breastmilk. Sometimes, we won't be able to
change their mind. There will always be those who choose the alternate way. Those who
don't see major surgery as a risk, those who don't see formula as a 'bad' choice. I know
that lots of us would like to change the world in a hurry, and it would be great if we
could all have been the picture of new motherhood, baby gently suckling, other children
playing at our feet, a calm home and a stable relationship, but for many, life's not like
that. Get used to it. Help the mothers that come to us for help, reach out to the ones who
are receptive and keep educating and caring, even for the ones who drive you nuts with
their life choices.
> A mother that can't breastfeed (who wanted to) will not feel guilty -
> she will feel grief and it's important not to confuse the two, because a
> mother who feels grief should be helped to come to terms with that
> grief, to be encouraged to mourn that loss. From my standpoint, a
> mother who feels guilty knows she is making a poor or selfish choice and
> as far as dealing with those feelings - she's on her own. I have no
> intention of trying to help someone who has made a poor choice feel
> better about themselves.
I do agree with this - help the mothers who are grieving and if a mother is informed
enough to feel guilty - let her feel guilty. Next time she might just decide to do what
she really feels like she should have done to start with.
Just my NSHO!
cheers
Querida
.....................................
Querida David IBCLC
Alyangula NT. Australia
.....................................
The Dairy Council tells us: Milk is nature's most perfect food.
The Dairy Council doesn't tell us: Milk is nature's most perfect food for a
baby calf, who has four stomachs, will double its weight in 47 days, and is
destined to weigh 300 pounds within a year.
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