Susan Burger wrote about what some LCs have experienced:  "While we all love
to help mothers and help them feel good about what we do, we also have to
realize that there is a fine line between that and becoming, to use a very
overused term, "enablers" of behaviors that are not as healthy.  And often
the "enabler" can become the object of hostility when the person on their
own finally realizes that their behavior is not healthy or we finally
realize we have reached the point where we cannot enable the behavior
anymore and we finally do confront the situation.  In situations where there
is a real solid high risk, I think we sometimes do need to be prepared to
take the heat."



Susan, whenever that happens to me, I wonder what I did to make the person
resent my help.

One mom, in particular, comes to mind and I did not find out until I helped
her with the next baby why she was so upset (with the first baby and the
second).  When she explained, I felt relieved; however, I had blamed myself
for over two years (the time between the two births).  In actuality, she
resented that she needed help; she was upset that she could not do something
"as simple as breastfeeding" on her own.  She thought:  What is wrong with
me that I can't take care of my baby without help from a healthcare
professional?

Another mom was referred to me by a local ILCA affiliate.  She had been
helped by other IBCLCs; however, no one else had told her the whole truth
about what newborns normally need.  She was overwhelmed and upset that the
two-week old required frequent feedings, even during the night.  The mom
wanted the baby to sleep through the night or let someone else take care of
the baby; so she started having the dad give bottles (of ABM) during the
night.  The affiliate received a letter of complaints from the mom; some of
my colleagues on the board of the affiliate chastised me for making her feel
bad.  That hurt!  It was disconcerting to have some of my colleagues blame
me without even hearing my side of the story.

We need to be kind to our colleagues and afford them as much consideration
as we give the moms; however, we also need to explain to the mom what the
basic needs of the baby are.  It is our responsibility.  Thank you, Susan,
for writing about an important issue.

Warm regards,

Lee Galasso, MS, LLLL, IBCLC, RLC

Westchester County in NYS, USA

"Children Are Born with the Need to Breastfeed"




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