When I look back at my mothering history, which like most mothers I seem
compelled to do, I feel equal parts of regret and self-congratulation.  What
a miracle that I did as well as I did under the circumstances (which
involved the normal chaos of life with its ups and downs).  And what a shame
I fell so far short of the perfection that I sincerely wanted to offer my
kids.  I weaned my oldest at 2.5 half-way through a preg. during which I was
throwing
up an average of 4 times a day for 7 months.  She wasn't ready to
be weaned, and I've always wished that I could have managed to carry on.
When I conceived baby #3, I tandem nursed , so by that point I had found
either the strength, the skill, or the courage to endure through the same
set of circumstances.  But for whatever reason, I did not allow my oldest a
baby-led weaning, even though I was immersed in the LLL community/culture.
Some of
my friends at the time were critical of my actions, and I felt judged.
20 years later I can still tell you the names of those who made me feel that
way,  as well as the names of those who made me feel that they understood
that
I was doing absolutely the best I could.

 It is an illusion to think we have the power to control the behavior of
others.  But the remembrance of compassion never fades. The mothers I work
with are as capable of growth through experience as I was.  It is only to
the extent that I model mutual respect  that they will be willing to receive
the help and information I offer.

Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd, IBCLC
Austin Lactation Associates
http://www.lactnews.com

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