When I look back at my mothering history, which like most mothers I seem compelled to do, I feel equal parts of regret and self-congratulation. What a miracle that I did as well as I did under the circumstances (which involved the normal chaos of life with its ups and downs). And what a shame I fell so far short of the perfection that I sincerely wanted to offer my kids. I weaned my oldest at 2.5 half-way through a preg. during which I was throwing up an average of 4 times a day for 7 months. She wasn't ready to be weaned, and I've always wished that I could have managed to carry on. When I conceived baby #3, I tandem nursed , so by that point I had found either the strength, the skill, or the courage to endure through the same set of circumstances. But for whatever reason, I did not allow my oldest a baby-led weaning, even though I was immersed in the LLL community/culture. Some of my friends at the time were critical of my actions, and I felt judged. 20 years later I can still tell you the names of those who made me feel that way, as well as the names of those who made me feel that they understood that I was doing absolutely the best I could. It is an illusion to think we have the power to control the behavior of others. But the remembrance of compassion never fades. The mothers I work with are as capable of growth through experience as I was. It is only to the extent that I model mutual respect that they will be willing to receive the help and information I offer. Barbara Wilson-Clay BSEd, IBCLC Austin Lactation Associates http://www.lactnews.com *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html