In a message dated 10/15/2007 12:01:00 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
who
is there to support you in these early, stressful days of little
sleep and a baby who is showing signs of a difficult beginning in his
breastfeeding career? Who is doing the laundry? Who is doing the
food shopping and preparation? Who is picking up the house? Who
else is sitting down to read to the other kids, play some games with
them, take them outside to play or go for a walk or other outing?
Who is bringing you snacks and tucking you in for a little nap? Who
is helping to provide you the time to "nest in" with your newest
baby? These are supports a new mother should have for at least the
first few weeks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i loved this post - it was the best laugh i've had in some time! :-) i
could explain in detail here how circumstances have conspired in our lives such
that my husband and i have no other family to help - aside from my mother who
came for 2 wks from across the country and wore herself to a frazzle just
taking over the cooking and cleaning up after dinner duties - but i already
fear i am on thin ice for taking so much LN time w/ a personal issue. i do
appreciate so much the indulgence of the listmothers in letting me seek answers
and advice for this long!
suffice it to say that i am always very aware of and proactive in advocating
for new mothers to get a good support system in place in the work i do w/
new moms and babies. i applied this philosophy to myself when we 1st realized
we were having a very unexpected 5th baby when our resources are pretty much
maxed. it is why i became frantic so quickly, why i was aggressive about
asking the ped to help me find answers before he was even a week old, why i
decided to post here and glean any insight i could into his problems. i knew i had
a 2 wk grace period to get him healthy before i was snowed under!
he gained 2 oz the day before yesterday and 1 oz yesterday so i think we are
definitely on the upswing now and are going to get through this. i am
mentally making a list of chores and duties i am going to have to let go in place
of frequent nursing sessions and diaper changes, favors i can call in w/
friends and hubby's time constraints and which extra duties he could take on until
the baby is more self-sufficient. it will work out b/c it has to. i thank
goodness i instinctively found my way to attachment parenting when i 1st had
children, it ensures baby comes 1st no matter what.
i just wanted to say again tho that i loved this post b/c i have learned in
my volunteering across socioeconomic differences and demographics that if you
don't look at where the mother is and meet her where she lives
(emotionally/mentally as well as limitations-wise), you are never going to help her and
the baby. so many times i have gone in trying to apply my standards of care and
realized that i am going to have to completely readjust them b/c what i
think should be done is just absolutely not possible for this mother. it is also
the one piece of the puzzle i often wonder about when lactnetters post about
their challenging cases. can the mom afford that? can she go get something
like that herself - does she have a car, would she take the bus, is there a
bfing supply store near her? does she have a computer, would she look it up
online? does she have the time? will her mother/hubby/sisters/brothers help? will
her family support her or be uncomfortable with it?
i will never forget the 1st mom i worked with who had no phone, no cell
phone, no tv, no computer, no credit cards, no money. she lived from shelter to
shelter and bfing was almost out of the question for her b/c she felt so
vulnerable already... i consider it one of my most satisfying contacts that her
baby got breastmilk for 3 wks when my normal minimum personal hope is to help
empower moms to make it to at least 18 mos.
thanks again everyone for applying all your experience & time to helping
elijah & i - i feel incredibly nurtured just to have so many concerned ppl
helping us - and pls don't have any undue concern, i think he is finally catching
up! i would never forgive myself if i wore out my welcome here and lost this
priceless resource, so if anyone wants to continue to follow our progress
more closely than the occasional brief updates i may post, pls feel free to
email me privately! thanks again for all the support and info, it has been worth
a price above rubies.
~jacqui gruttadauria, bsw
babymooning near detroit, michigan
_myspace.com/mummaTOwldthings_
(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=161196488)
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