In a message dated 10/15/2007 12:01:00 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, [log in to unmask] writes: who is there to support you in these early, stressful days of little sleep and a baby who is showing signs of a difficult beginning in his breastfeeding career? Who is doing the laundry? Who is doing the food shopping and preparation? Who is picking up the house? Who else is sitting down to read to the other kids, play some games with them, take them outside to play or go for a walk or other outing? Who is bringing you snacks and tucking you in for a little nap? Who is helping to provide you the time to "nest in" with your newest baby? These are supports a new mother should have for at least the first few weeks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i loved this post - it was the best laugh i've had in some time! :-) i could explain in detail here how circumstances have conspired in our lives such that my husband and i have no other family to help - aside from my mother who came for 2 wks from across the country and wore herself to a frazzle just taking over the cooking and cleaning up after dinner duties - but i already fear i am on thin ice for taking so much LN time w/ a personal issue. i do appreciate so much the indulgence of the listmothers in letting me seek answers and advice for this long! suffice it to say that i am always very aware of and proactive in advocating for new mothers to get a good support system in place in the work i do w/ new moms and babies. i applied this philosophy to myself when we 1st realized we were having a very unexpected 5th baby when our resources are pretty much maxed. it is why i became frantic so quickly, why i was aggressive about asking the ped to help me find answers before he was even a week old, why i decided to post here and glean any insight i could into his problems. i knew i had a 2 wk grace period to get him healthy before i was snowed under! he gained 2 oz the day before yesterday and 1 oz yesterday so i think we are definitely on the upswing now and are going to get through this. i am mentally making a list of chores and duties i am going to have to let go in place of frequent nursing sessions and diaper changes, favors i can call in w/ friends and hubby's time constraints and which extra duties he could take on until the baby is more self-sufficient. it will work out b/c it has to. i thank goodness i instinctively found my way to attachment parenting when i 1st had children, it ensures baby comes 1st no matter what. i just wanted to say again tho that i loved this post b/c i have learned in my volunteering across socioeconomic differences and demographics that if you don't look at where the mother is and meet her where she lives (emotionally/mentally as well as limitations-wise), you are never going to help her and the baby. so many times i have gone in trying to apply my standards of care and realized that i am going to have to completely readjust them b/c what i think should be done is just absolutely not possible for this mother. it is also the one piece of the puzzle i often wonder about when lactnetters post about their challenging cases. can the mom afford that? can she go get something like that herself - does she have a car, would she take the bus, is there a bfing supply store near her? does she have a computer, would she look it up online? does she have the time? will her mother/hubby/sisters/brothers help? will her family support her or be uncomfortable with it? i will never forget the 1st mom i worked with who had no phone, no cell phone, no tv, no computer, no credit cards, no money. she lived from shelter to shelter and bfing was almost out of the question for her b/c she felt so vulnerable already... i consider it one of my most satisfying contacts that her baby got breastmilk for 3 wks when my normal minimum personal hope is to help empower moms to make it to at least 18 mos. thanks again everyone for applying all your experience & time to helping elijah & i - i feel incredibly nurtured just to have so many concerned ppl helping us - and pls don't have any undue concern, i think he is finally catching up! i would never forgive myself if i wore out my welcome here and lost this priceless resource, so if anyone wants to continue to follow our progress more closely than the occasional brief updates i may post, pls feel free to email me privately! thanks again for all the support and info, it has been worth a price above rubies. ~jacqui gruttadauria, bsw babymooning near detroit, michigan _myspace.com/mummaTOwldthings_ (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=161196488) ************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html Mail all commands to [log in to unmask] To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or [log in to unmask]) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet or ([log in to unmask]) To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]