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Informed Discussion of Beekeeping Issues and Bee Biology

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Subject:
From:
James Fischer <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Informed Discussion of Beekeeping Issues and Bee Biology <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Wed, 19 Dec 2001 23:48:58 -0500
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If you seek a good hive inspector/apiarist program as
a model, one could not go wrong by simply Xeroxing
whatever Maryland does.

I have never kept bees in Maryland, and I only spent
a few minutes with a Maryland bee inspector, but I
was very impressed...

  It was at EAS 2000, held in Maryland that year.
  An apiary seminar was about to start, and I and
  another fellow arrived slightly early for the seminar.

  The other fellow was standing alone, nervously
  polishing a hive tool with a paper towel... gosh,
  maybe he was new, shy, and did not know
  anyone there...

  So, try to make conversation, in my best Lutheran
  church-supper manner....

        "Wow, that's a nice shiny hive tool..."

  But I was instantly interrupted by a fully-automatic,
  put-a-new-part-in-your-hair, rapid-fire, 60-caliber,
  with tracer rounds, stream of words from this fellow,
  who suddenly took on the persona of a drill sergeant,
  right down closing the distance between our noses
  to exactly 2 inches:

        "If YOUR hive tool is not every BIT as clean
            and SHINY as mine, then you are spreading
            DISEASE between your hives..."

  He went on like that for a while, speaking in all caps,
  and using exclamation points as his only choice
  of punctuation.

  When he at last stopped for breath, I took a step back,
  and said:

        "Sorry, I was just trying to complement you
        on your very stylish and practical Chrome-Plated
            hive tool - I've never seen a chromed one before,
            and thought it was a very good idea."

Now THAT's an inspector!

        jim

        farmageddon (Where "chrome is where the heart is",
                                 and "there's no place like chrome",
                                 and "I'll be chrome for Christmas".)

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