Diane wrote <<My 11-or-so year old heard me talking about a pop radio psychologist who says if you let that baby in your bed you'll never get him out. "That's a *lie*!" he said, his eyes flashing fire.>> I remember bed sharing with my younger 2 children (now almost 13 and 10 years) and not my first born (now 15). Following well meaning advice from my pediatrician, I carefully fed him, despite loud (crying) objections, "not sooner than every 2 hours and never let him sleep in your bed" (And this came from a pediatrician who claimed to be very supportive of breastfeeding.) Out of sheer survival, the now 10 and 13 year olds, were rountinely brought to the bed to feed and sleep. My firstborne was parented "by the book", with no. 2 and 3, I threw it out. Experience, the great teacher!! As mothers, we know through our hearts, minds, bodies and souls what our children need. I think as first time mothers we may lack the necessary tools or wisdom to draw upon. I suggest to new parents to trust their instincts, discover the uniqueness of their babies, and find professionals who will listen to them. As far as 20/20, I find it ironic that the interviewer presented how the family bed might cause divorce and or breakdown of "normal" marital relations. New parenting in general may produce some conflict in relationships, but probably not significantly in marriages where open communication is practiced. Dads and moms who value their children and see their needs as top priorty will not in all likelihood, allow a small break in their "marital relations", vis a vis the family bed, to sour a marriage. As stated by the couples on 20/20 who co-slept with their chilldren: they got very creative -- found another room in the house. Moreover, mature adults can withhold their needs for a while to take care of their children. I have heard the radio talk show psychologist advise callers not to bring their babies to bed at night. It seems odd that such a strong family/child advocate has this position, as she also tells divorced, single parents to avoid sexual relationships and dating to better meet the needs of their child. Why is it ok to hold off on your needs if you are divorced, but not if you're married? Just wondering. (Side bar, she also advises women not to have breast implants and reminds callers that the risks of surgery outweigh vanity. She mentions breastfeeding frequently and advocates in her usual matter of fact way.) It's ironic that this very same child advocate who is pro breastfeeding is against adult/child co-sleeping. Maybe there is more to her position than what is seen at face value. Maybe she hasn't read the work of McKenna, and others. Ahh, do I hear a fax to her show calling? She has been mentioned on this list in the past. Has anyone ever sent submissions to her show? Out of lurkdom, Cathy Carnaby,RNC, IBCLC Omaha, NE [log in to unmask] *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html