X-Mozilla-Status2: 00000000 Message-ID: <[log in to unmask]> Date: Tue, 04 May 1999 07:45:06 -0400 From: Sandy Hess <[log in to unmask]> X-Mozilla-Draft-Info: internal/draft; vcard=0; receipt=0; uuencode=0; html=0; linewidth=0 X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.5 [en] (Win95; I) X-Accept-Language: en MIME-Version: 1.0 To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Culture, Breastfeeding, and Parenting Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I don't think that anyone is saying that by looking at one culture (most pointedly, Western culture) it's "norms" can be assigned to all cultures, in a biological or any other sense. Humans are simply too complex and adaptable. While most women in the world may *practice* what we refer to as "attachment" parenting, I am not convinced that this is sufficient evidence that this is the *biological* "norm". Baby carrying, frequent nursing, etc. may as easily be attributed to the fact that most women in the world are very poor, and likely do not have any other choice. If we pattern all areas of our lives after what most women in the world do, assuming that by doing so we would be doing the best for ourselves and our children, we have some pretty major adjustments ahead. Quite a few would prove to be at best unpleasant, with some downright unsafe or in total opposition to some of our individual values. Some friends of ours were in a country where many of the women carried their babies in slings. Curious as to their rationale, they asked a few. The answer was *not*, "Because it makes our babies more secure" etc. The reply, instead, was "We have no other option." Now, this was only one particular culture and the one where our friends just happened to be, but I found the responses reflective of common sense. Many women in the cultures where most of us practice do have options. Some of those select attachment parenting and are happy with the effects on the child, themselves, and their family. However, many women in the cultures where most of us practice elect other, very loving and caring approaches to parenting (many of them a *mixture* of what we try to categorize as "approaches" or "styles") and are also very happy with the results in these same areas. Like the women interviewed by our friends, some in our culture do not have the option to select from a variety of parenting styles, including the attachment parenting method in its entirity, even if they would like to try it. Yet, many of these women who desire to breastfeed are somehow able to do so for many months, and even much longer, without carrying their babies, sleeping with them, and nursing every few hours throughout the night. Surprisingly, more than a few of these babies are quite healthy and happy, as are their moms. I still hold to the concept that babies, as humans, are quite adaptable (of course, not infinitely so). Babies and children need many, many things, from food (and clinical research has well established that human milk -- with even greater advantages if taken directly from the breast -- is by far the superior infant food) and love (which can be given and received in many, many ways) to parental direction in multi-facted development (*major* differing values and influences, here). To say conclusively that there is only one "right" or "safe" way to do this puts us in the position of what I call "king of the world" (i.e. when I am focused on an issue, I will sometimes say "*if I* were king of the world, I'd...... - make it a law that all women must sign and informed consent form before their child was given ABM -- or some such decree.) Refering to a previous post, as professionals, we must base as much of our practice as possible on sound research which stands up to peer review. Currently, I do not know of any body of such research that conclusively supports one parenting style over another, especially as it interfaces with breastfeeding in a variety of cultures. When we work from a weak basis, we risk our credibility with many of those in position to help us effect change. There just is no way that I'm going to try to convince a happy breastfeeding mother of a happy, healthy breastfed baby that she is falling short in some way because she has chosen not to parent in a mammalian manner. Neither am I going to tell another mother who has chosen full-blown attachment parenting, and is also happy with it, that she needs to adjust in some way. In fact, as a *lactation* professional, I don't even "go there", unless invited by the mother. Even then, I let her know that I am NOT a parenting expert. I also inform her that all parenting "experts" do not agree on the topic. I may recommend some reading material if I have an idea of what style or styles may fit better with the goals and desires of the mom and her family. I will often suggest two or more authors with differing viewpoints, and suggest she consider the options and try incorporating those things which she thinks will help her in the situation she is in. After becoming more educated -- and even better, experienced :) -- she may elect to change her situation as well as her method of parenting. That is *her* choice. As long as her baby can remain healthy, and she can breastfeed as long as she desires, I don't worry about her parenting style (obvious abuse excepted). Until I become recognized as having all the *proven* answers to parenting (which won't happen for year or two, at least -- :) ) I'll just stay a plain ol' LC. That is what I am certified in doing, and that keeps busy enough. I find it quite challenging to help a women breastfeed as long as she desires (with sometimes that being baby-led weaning) within the unique context of *her* life. I will provide information about the conclusive benefits of breastfeeding, and assist her with any lactation problems which arise. If her milk supply is down, I will offer a variety of interventions to help restore it. If she wants help in dealing with critical family members, I will suggest some "educational" techniques. If her breastfed infant with a cardiac problem is struggling with weight gain, I will suggest recommend strategies to promote improvement. I see no need try to convince a happy and healthy breastfeeding duo that they are doing it "wrong", just because I or a population of those within my profession, may prefer one parenting approach over another. "Each to is own" needs to apply to the individual philosphies held by LCs as well as to the choices of "our" moms. Sandy Hess, who is currently a NICU LC, where *nothing* is the "norm", except the presence of the "abnormal."