Joyce writes: >She did >(finally) call me, right? So that does indicate she may be open to my >suggestions. Not necessarily. There is certainly a lot more going on here than you can know or do anything about. I have encountered cases like this and usually the woman is calling a number of people, relaying all that she has done and asking, "what next?" with no intention of following through with the suggestions. There is nothing I can say that will resolve this client's dilemma. She doesn't trust her own inner guidance, nor anyone else's guidance. I worked with a mom recently of a similar frame of mind. In the beginning (child #2) she wanted help with sore nipples. We resolved that with positioning, but the soreness returned. She tried cranio-sacral treatments and that resolved the soreness. Then came yeast overgrowth, which Mom wouldn't treat fully. Then there were colic symptoms, seeming to stem from diet and/or yeast. Mom didn't stick with dietary restrictions for more than a couple of days. Then there was sleep deprivation and anxiety in mom, treated with medication and a week of doula service. The latest is repeated ear infections with baby being on abx for 2 months, followed now by yeast overgrowth. (She even bought the family a puppy somewhere in all of this! She now sees this as a mistake.) She just CAN'T go off dairy because, "I gave up my job, I've given up all of my time, this baby is hanging on me all of the time, I get no sleep, and the one last thing that I do for myself is a cup of yogurt in the morning." After further discussion, she says that she drinks a quart of milk, eats cheese throughout the day, in addition to the beloved yogurt. She craves dairy products all of the time. Know why she is still breastfeeding this baby? Her little brother died of SIDS and she could not live with herself if she weaned before 1 year and her baby died in the same way. She read about the reduced risk with BF before she had her first baby. Baby is now 7 months old. (...and counting.) This woman doesn't say, "Yes, but...", just ,"No." She has MANY problems beyond the scope of lactation consultant. For starters, her husband didn't want children and she made a deal with him, before the first pregnancy, that she would be full care-taker of the baby, and that his life wouldn't be interrupted at all, including her as regular all-day golfing partner. She seemed to be able to manage with one child, but this new one has tipped everything to the impossible, I guess. Now, if I didn't know this whole history from my work with her first baby, I might be putting many hours into working to resolve her many present problems thinking that they are, in fact, resolvable and about breastfeeding . I gave her the name of an MD who works well with yeast, I gave her the name of the doula service, I advised her about dairy sensitivity and finding foods she might like, I gave her the name of the OT who does C-S work, but I don't let her lack of follow-through keep me on the phone, nor awake at night. And I NEVER call back to see how things are going. I feel very sorry for her, but I know my limitations in this case. Leslie Ayre-Jaschke's post has a very helpful perspective on such cases, and as she says, "I have decided that I have only limited time and energy, and that I choose to use it where I feel I can make the biggest difference." Joyce, get away and enjoy yourself, and know that if things don't go well with this family, it is not because you or the other LC didn't know enough or do enough. Patricia Gima, IBCLC Milwaukee mailto:[log in to unmask]