My husband and I took Bradley method childbirth classes with our first child thirteen years ago. The obstetrician told us afterwards that his "Bradley" mothers managed labor better than anyone else. Knowing how radical and rigid people think we in the lactation field are, I think we need to try and be compassionate to this couple. People who like control (myself being one) naively think they can control birth and everything after. It takes a baby to teach someone just how silly this notion is. This mother doesn't have her baby - the hospital does. Is there anyway to help give her some measure of control with this child? Help her count up the positive things that happened with her birth (it doesn't sound like there was much there for her to see as 'going right'). It is very hard to parent a preemie and this mom has to deal with giving up the "perfect birth experience" and now is being told she can't parent the way she planned. Remember how hard it is to let go of your dreams and accept reality. This mother may be rigid but she is also probably grieving and coping and needs some help (maybe a social worker?). Moving on to another subject, I have much preferred the tenor of the messages lately to the ones that were being sent earlier this summer. No one should have to be afraid to send a message to this list serve because they think they are going to be cyberflamed. I personally don't like the physician bashing because I work with them and have on the whole found doctors to be very caring compassionate people who want what is best for the patient. There are a few useless ones just as there are a few useless LCs (flame away, I can cyber duck). Just don't denigrate the whole profession because of a few misguided ones. Venting specifically at the one specific physician who is causing you difficulty is okay. And I agree that the delete key is the most important one on my keyboard. Debi Lanning St. Petersburg, FL.