Pearl, I am not an expert in this area (and I will be interested to hear what those on the list who might have counseling expertise will say). But, I would think that if this woman (whose baby died of SIDS) wants to contribute to the panel she should do so. She did the best for her baby; it is important for her to remember that (and is perhaps part of her inner motivation in wanting to share her experience); and, I think it is vital for others to know how much providing their own milk means to mothers. If we could convince everyone that it isn't asking a woman to "do too much" by suggesting they pump or hand express we would increase the breastfeeding rates dramatically. If mothers believed that their providers thought the effort of providing milk was important...ditto. I would go over your concerns with this mother. Many times people who suffer the death of a baby (or any family member, for that matter) find they are isolated by politeness -- everyone avoids talking about "it" when, sometimes, it feels really good to talk. She has obviously thought about it for a long time in her heart (and will, forever). Let us know the outcome. Margery Wilson, IBCLC Cambridge, Massachusetts USA