Couldn't resist this one! IMHO, Guilt can be a good thing too(Take that Ms. Robin)! It is an incredible motivator to change one's behavior if we know that we are not doing the right thing or being the best that we can be. It is part of being human, rather than an animal. We have morality and consciense and can base our choices on those factors rather than just our driving instincts alone. We can make guilt work for us, because it motivates us to be the best that we can be. As far as the Mom Jay wrote about, guilt doesn't seem appropriate. Feeling so sad her child had to go through such a horrible experience and wishing it weren't so, is very appropriate. As Jay pointed out, guilt often gets confused with other bad feelings. I have seen bumper stickers that say "Screw Guilt" and the like. They bother me incredibly because the implication seems to be that we should do whatever may "feel good" at the time and not care of the consequences or others that may be hurt by our actions. The typical "me first" attitude. Coming down now.... Jamie L. Gilcrest, Morgan's Mom; LLLL [log in to unmask]