Bravo, Debbie Shinskie, for posting about "ownership of the baby " issues.
Right on!

My universal "rules" for helping moms are:

Rule #1. Feed the baby.
Rule #2. The mother is right.
Rule #3. It's her baby.
Rule #4. Nobody knows everything.
Rule #5. There's another way.

Hope these help.  Use 'em if you wish, give me credit if you can.

Linda Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC
Private Practice, Dayton OH