Dear Friends, Well I have been off for a few weeks because my mother died. I want to thank all of you who sent me notes and have sup portative during this long illness. My mother is at peace and with my father. This makes me very happy. Your discussions about LLL and LC work has opened a very deep wound. I have enjoyed all of your comments. It sounds as though LLLI might be coming to some resolution. I will have to try to get my hands on the Leaven article. As I have mentioned before, I did not want to breastfeed. If it were not for some patient LLLLs who put up with me, I would have been a much different mother. I not only fell in love with breastfeeding but I also accepted much of the parenting philosophy. I learned to teach my children and not punish. I learned to socialize and not force them. LLL gave me direction and a profession. I was one of the first to take the exam and set up a practice. I chose to go on reserve so I would not mix causes. I still gave away many answers on the phone and referred to LLL in town. Most of the leaders were happy that I was now available to answer those touchy medical questions that leaders are not to answer. When I left a large pediatric group in town (money, and a who fought me on iron and milk allergies), the group would not tell anyone where I was. LLL called me and asked what happened. They had the word out in 24 hrs. and I had patients before my boxes were unpacked. I have always tried to give back to LLL when and where I could. However, a few years ago, I was asked on 3 separate occasions to speak at LLL functions. Each time the embarrassed local leader had to call to tell me that I could not speak. If I was a nurse, I could speak as a nurse. If I was still a leader I could speak as a leader, but I could never speak as an LC. This made me very sad and I reluctantly retired. I sent a letter to LLLI and was sent a less then nice letter back. I guess that there was problems with some leaders in other parts of the country and I got zapped for it. I still would like to do something for league and it still hurts. Well that felt good! Sorry it was long. Diane Herforth, BAE, IBCLC, ICCE Tacoma WA