Using the term weaning to mean complete cessation of breastfeeding, please consider the following thoughts (if they seem disjointed, I am in the midst of garage sale preparation and running in and out with junk, opening garage for friends, tracking in leaves, etc) To no longer breastfeed one's (last) baby forces one to come to terms with what may, for many of us, be the first serious loss we have experienced. Thus, to set aside what has been so meaningful and is so inextricably linked with our child's most vulnerable period (infancy and the beauty therein) is a grievous expeirence. It literally forces us to grieve what we know we can no longer enjoy, even as that beautiful baby continues to grow and develop into a beautiful child and, Later, adult. I have had to do this only once. Those of you who have done it more than once must be stronger women than I, for--although our time together ended very quietly and when we were both ready--I still grieved what we had both grown past. To be asked to help a mother wean her baby, whom we do not even know, when we are in the midst of coming to terms with something we value so highly, requires that we--for the period of time we are helping that mother--ignore our own anticipated grief. We are not always able to set those intense feelings aside; they sneak up on us and force recognition when we are least able/ready to do so. What you, Kathleen Bruce, did was human. You may regret it, and you certainly did apologize for it. Now, as difficult as it is to try not to second-guess yourself, you have to set it aside in order to deal with what you are also experiencing with your precious Sally. The mother you spoke with was in a vulnerable place when she called. You were in a vulnerably place when you spoke with her. It is unfortunate that each of you was so sensitive (in different ways) to the other's comments. Think of all the other people you have helped. Move on. ANd, most important, let Sally be herself even as the two of you move forward together toward a time when she not only will not be breastfeeding, but may actually be going to school away from home or movoing into her own appartment. Sometimes, it helps to place the breastfeeding experience in a long-term perspective. Even when it lasts several years, it lasts but a small period in the total time that child is home with her/his parents. Each step that child takes requires both the loving assistance and loving stepping back of her/his parents. Such a reduction in the special symbiosis that a mother and baby expreience with breastfeeding can be scary for both. How many times I recall wondering how I could possibly comfort Doug if he were not breastfeeding. But, you know, when it happened, I had learned other ways. Some he taught me; others I picked up from friends more experienced as parents than I, and still others just sort of came to me as I muddled through parenthood. Love yourself; love your child, and know that you help far more people than you do not. Def. of LC service: "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." Kathleen G. Auerbach,PhD, IBCLC (Homewood, IL)- [log in to unmask]