Dear Becky, Your 2 messages set all my latent guilt-chords twanging. I was very distressed that you interpreted our posts (mine included) as "hostile". For my part, and I think that of others who voiced comments similar to mine, we were trying to assert ourselves and grouse about basic inconsideration. The toddler at the conference I attended (in Israel) was SO disruptive that I would label his mother as being, AT THAT TIME, non-nurturing. It was downright CRUEL to keep this active child sitting down at what basically was a medical conference. I find it impossible to believe that his mother got anything from the lecture, since virtually everyone else in the audience missed about a half an hour of the presentation. It was simply a ludicrous situation in my case, and I would think that you would agree with me. BTW I also make quite a few trade-offs and have to scrimp and save to attend the very VERY few conferences of importance to me held in my part of the world, so I understand your sacrifices, Becky. I hope that you understand MY annoyance when I can FINALLY attend a conference featuring So-and-so as speaker on Such-and-such topic, and then be unable to hear the famous Dr. X because the stubborn mother three rows behind me insists on staying in the lecture hall with her shreiking toddler who NEEDS HER ATTENTION. I'm sorry if I offend you with this message, but at times (especially when I have paid a lot of money, juggled family and work obligations, "abandoned" nursing moms who need my support, and looked forward with hand-rubbing anticipation to some conference), I can be REEEEEEAL selfish and think, "Heck, I'm important, too". Becky, your suggestions (and those of others) to have organized babysitters provided at conferences, have sound piped in to bfing rooms, etc. were absolutely on target. Instead of putting people on the defensive (and putting bfing moms on the defensive REALLY gets me angry!), we should all work with conference organizers to ensure optimal enjoyment and benefit for everyone participating (and let's not forget the poor lecturer!) Can we stay friends? Judy K