Marie, I sing from a similar hymnal about the visitors post partum and I always try to bring it up in my prenatal BF class. I tell parents that they get an invisible (to them) tatoo while in the hospital that says "I'm a new parent--tell me what to do!" Their first year of parenting will be spent trying to figure out what advice to pay attention to and what to let slide by. I tell them to preface any statements about something they want to do with "My doctor said...." It works like this, if someone comes over with a snot-nosed child, the parents can say "my doctor said.. we should not allow other people to hold the baby because there is a lot of strep going around." I tell parents to ask others for advice on something that they don't really care about (such as how to bathe the baby, how to tell when the baby is warm enough, etc.) Sometimes this is all it takes to make a grandmother feel more valued and it might take some of the heat off the feeding issue. I also try to explain to the parents that the real issue here is that other people want you to do what they did so that they will feel like they did the right thing. Many people take it personally when their advice is ignored or not valued and so they try to manipulate to get their way. Happy evening to all Martha Grodrian Brower RD LD IBCLC Kettering, OH