Hi to all the Wise Women -

As some know from my infrequent posts, I am a birth and postpartum doula, as well as a lactavist and childbirth educator. I am a passionate lurker and enjoy the spirited debates that frequently pepper the List. 

I am facing a situation that (thank God) few postpartum doulas face in their careers - the death of a mother. I have been hired to provide care for a baby/family whose mother died within the past month due to complications of childbirth. 

After my initial horror over the situation dissipated, I spoke to the father and husband. Even in his overwhelming grief, he ordered breast milk from a milk bank and has been combining it with formula. We are due to meet for an initial visit in a few days, and he would like additional information on giving the baby breast milk.  

I would like to supply him with information that covers everything from milk banks to bringing in LLL volunteers to wet nurse. I remembered the recent case in Texas of a maternal death and the women who nursed the baby in shifts. Not wanting to reinvent the wheel, I would be most appreciative to hear from anyone who has had experience in supporting a family after a maternal death. 

On a personal note, I must say I and my doula partner are most humbled by this assignment. Grief aside, we feel that Divine Providence has led us to this family. My last client experienced severe PPD, and the one before that lost her husband in Kuwait while she was pregnant, so I'm guessing that my path is one of assisting those dealing with profound grief issues. It is a privilege to support those families for whom birth and death are so inextricably linked. 

Thanks in advance for any information you can offer me. (Not to mention your prayers, mostly for this family but for our doula team as well.)

-- Alison 
Birth and Postpartum Doula
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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