Linda in the Carolinas, Your post was so well-written and your frustration so palpable that I said to myself, "Oh what to do! It's an impossible situation!" So I am glad that cooler heads have prevailed and begun to reply to your post. And now I think I can put in my two cents. I am convinced that for the most part it is parents that get nipple-confused, rather than babies. If a baby settles down and eats well, the parent gets a tremendous sense of satisfaction - whether it's at the breast, with a rubber teat, a finger, or a cup. (I suppose a gavage tube too.) We mess around too much with equipment and it gets between mom and baby. We worry too much about the liquid and not enough about the love. So the bottom line is the relationship - as the mom falls madly in love with that baby, she knows that she is competent. (The first DVD any mom and dad should see is "Baby Led Attachment" because then they will know that BABY is competent too. Or stay for a few minutes with the baby STS and you can do your own video!) Loads of skin to skin. To breast as soon as possible. And you will see changes in how your babies eat, and how parents choose to feed them. Hope this helps. It's made a big difference here. And I agree - maybe we can't do all Ten Steps. Maybe we can't even Do 5. But starting with Just One - and pick "low-hanging Fruit" ! - even that will make a difference. Dawn Kersula MA, RN, IBCLC etc etc in Vermont USA *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome