Julie, The mother refusing skin-to-skin was certainly the first red flag. She may have been projecting because she is the one who is feeling upset. Perhaps she has a history of sexual abuse and is feeling conflicted about breastfeeding. Or maybe she had a bad experience previously and expects more of the same. Sometimes hindsight is 20-20. One thing that I would suggest, when a mother continues to contradict and negate suggestions, is to stop, perhaps acknowledge her pessimistic outlook, and ask her what she wants from you, how can you help her. At the least, it will get the negative energy on the table for discussion, which is important because you aren't going to make headway without dealing with it. She may then regroup, or she may express that she really doesn't want to be there or breastfeed. These situations are never easy, but you can certainly learn from them! ~Lisa Marasco *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome