Hi Jeanette You are sensitive to realise that the mother needs affirmation of her own mothering talents, and that she does not want to hear of foster babies getting donor milk. From her letter, it seems that she has not perceived any problems in her foster babies using artificial milk, and she is affronted by the negative comparison with breast milk. I think that only the nicest kind of "grateful for feedback" letter (without too much instruction) will do in this case. After all, all the information that you would like to present is on your lovely website. You can acknowledge that your website does not address those rare cases where the mother is not available, and where wonderful volunteers like her make use of the best tools they have to ameliorate the sad start that these babies have had. You can probably think of a way to say that your site is only comparing breast milk with formula milk; if we had to compare colas instead of formula, then we would really be talking about child abuse! Perhaps you could also say that you understand her distress at not finding information specific to her situation. Highlight that your mission (and the best use of government money) is to provide information to the majority of women who are birth mothers and who can provide breast milk. Breastfeeding is an important mothering tool, and an important factor in child health, impacting on public health spending, so you are obliged to give out that information. Is there any site where you can direct her for more useful information in her situation? There seems to be a dearth of information and support given to foster mothers, and perhaps you can thank the mother for the wake-up call :-) as well as thank her for her vital role in helping society's abandoned little souls. A sandwich letter of thanks and encouragement to the woman, with a thin layer of meat on why you need to spend money on breastfeeding promotion - a sentence or two, not a defensive treatise. :-) It occurs to me that wherever we come right out and say breastfeeding is wonderful, we find a group of people who are deeply hurt by that. We go round and round about how to present this without offence, but in the end, I guess, we realise that we can't be all things to all people, and have to support the beneficial norm. Best wishes Jacquie Nutt IBCLC www.milkmatters.org > Today I received an e-mail from a foster mom - who said "this is such a > waste of money" about our state breastfeeding website... > www.cdph.ca.gov/healthinfo/healthyliving/childfamily/Pages/CommonQuestions.aspx > > "What do you tell the foster mothers that raise and care for their foster > babies? Why are these foster- mothers adopting these children and keeping > these very sick babies alive with that terrible formula? You make women > feel guilty if women choose not to breastfeed. Don't be silly, good > mothering is the answer not whether you breast or bottle feed." *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome