Rene, Here's where the "healthy detachment" step of non-codependence comes in. You are not responsible for other people's decisions. Yes, it is very hard when we know that human milk and breastfeeding are the greatest, and other people, especially people we love, don't believe us or act on that knowledge. I think all of us have had painful experiences with people we care about not bf despite our best efforts to assist, or who quit without even asking for our help. Try to see this as HER decision, not YOUR failure. You can mourn for her, but realize that there is no magic you could perform to control another person, ever. Detach a little bit. Just a little. Next, practice your responses to either outcome. Either "I'm so happy your baby is well" or "I'm so sorry your baby is ill." Either one expresses your concern. Neither says "told you so", which while temporarily satisfying to that nasty part of us that needs to be right, is not helpful in the long run. It helps me to realize that people do the best they can with the resources they have. Knowledge is a resource, so are time, emotional support, ability to withstand anxiety and fear, money, etc. Some people who can't even think of bf are just too afraid to trust their bodies, or have had traumatic experiences that they don't have the resources to face yet. Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC NYC *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html