For the last 3 decades I have been working with mothers and babies - but in my first 2 decades I lived in a 4-generation household, so I am not uncomfortable with "old" people. Lately I have been going to a nursing home as our La Leche League group meets there and once a month my church choir sings at another one. Seeing the old folks there is always an eye opener - but one sweet woman comes to mind whenever we are speaking about the needs of the infant - this woman ALWAYS has a "baby doll" in her arms - she talks to it (so do I), and she holds it with such love and tenderness. I have no idea about her history - was she a mom? Did she ever hold her own babies this way? Did she lose a child? The human need to be held and to hold - we seem to be working so hard at turning it off! So many moms say to me "I don't want him to get 'used' to being held!!!" Reminding them that their infant was already 'held' for 9 months does, at times, make them relax a bit...but the next month we are back at the pressure that others have placed on them to STOP being responsive and STOP holding. Our La Leche League group's theme every November is "dealing with the family pressures" (to leave the baby, to have a drink, to let the baby cry, etc.). It is so sad that we need to do this...but thus is the life our moms lead - no matter what was their original culture, they receive the message loud and clear that in the United States we DON'T "give in" to our babies. AARRGGH! Jeanette Panchula California...where they hard baby carriers are seen far too often! *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html