Nikki Lee has made an excellent point--any interrogative question which can be answered "Fine" likely will be, and we will be none the wiser. I have had similar (almost identical in this respect) experiences--when I hear "Fine," I realize I've been stonewalled by polite convention and that by the rules governing communication in my society, it is my turn for a more specific question. This is what the mom is waiting for, and this waiting may be so automatic that she will not break through to tell me of her needs without me playing my role in specifically asking for details about them. Also, she may be absorbed by her recent experience of birth, making it difficult for her to think beyond convention and get her needs met. That puts more of the responsibility on me to discover what those needs are. Finally, there is the reluctance many women exhibit to speak of their needs--a self-esteem issue. And in many cultures, prudery is considered to be one of woman's essential feminine qualities, and so talking about nipple or breast pain threatens our self-image. A lot of potential barriers to communication. Arly Helm, MS, IBCLC *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html