Although I am an avid reader of Lactnet, I rarely post; but I can't stop thinking about this. I have known many, many "older" nurslings. Some remember breastfeeding, while others do not. How much of this "memory" is in fact influenced by the stories they hear, the family surroundings (ie having younger siblings who nurse, a parent involved in lactation support, etc) has always intrigued me, and is probably impossible to determine. Does my six year oold really remember breastfeeding? I believe so, in some sense at least; and as many other have stated, it may be the warmth, closeness and security that she remembers the most. She expects that babies and children will be nourished and nurtured at the breast, she BFs her dolls (although also wishes to have a bottle toy like her friends do - ah, the influence of culture), and she knows almost as well as I do when her sister needs to nurse. (She nursed until she was 3 & 1/2.) Kika, one book with great stories about older nursing children, which I think has some refernces to gender as well, is "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler" by Norma Jane Bumgarner, published by LLLI and recently revised. My 33 month old, current nurser (nursing as I type, through an illness which has rendered her otherwise anorectic!) loves her "nana." She has a habit of holding the breast in question between her thumb and forefinger as she nurses, which leaves me slightly more exposed than I like. I have tried in vain to break her of this habit for most of her life. Recent posts about discretion have me wondering: Does this habit really bother me personally - or am I bothered by my perception of what others might think or feel? As many mothers as I have spoken to and helped through various nursing situations, I think I have been blind to my own culturally- influenced discomfort! Holding the breast is part of nursing for this baby of mine, and by the way, she sees nothing sexual about it. So - memories of nursing. My favorite story is one oft told by a LLLL and friend (Sharon, are you out there?)of her son who nursed until four or more. He has no memory of nursing, he says, but he does remember flying over the Grand Canyon at age three. That flight, I told her, was unique and spectacular, and so therefore memorable. The everyday act of nursing, on the other hand, was nothing unique or spectacular to him; it was an everyday, regular part of his life that was constant, comforting and available - like mother's love. And I suspect that as time goes on, and he holds his own babies, the memories may start to flow like the milk. *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html