Carole Jernigan wrote about the discouragement she feels when she encounters mothers and fathers who feel that the only way Dad can bond with the baby is through bottle feeding, noting: 'I think some folks, men and women both, feel as though they have to be actively *doing something* with the baby for it to be "quality time".' One dimension of culture is how people define human activity. Among western and westernized cultures, human activity tends to be defined as "doing." Other ways of defining human activity exist, however, including "being" and "being-in-becoming." So, if someone appears to have cultural beliefs that emphasize a definition of human activity as "doing," it can, indeed, be helpful to present other things that the Dad can "do" to promote bonding that will not undermine breastfeeding: bathing, massaging, singing to, dressing, etc. Presenting these other options respects and accommodates the father's culturally based need to interact with his baby in a way that m eets his culturally acceptable definition of human activity. Such respect and accommodation are part of striving toward culturally competent lactation consulting. For more information, see my article, "The cultural art of breastfeeding," in the breastfeeding section on the publications page of my website (http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell) And even though I understand where people are coming from culturally, I still feel frustrated myself at how common it is for people to see bottle feeding as the only way for a father to bond with his child. I think a good chunk of my frustration comes from the way in which this culturally based belief is often exploited in marketing and the popular media--resulting, of course, in the undermining of breastfeeding and a concomitant increase in risk of poor health in mother and child. Cynthia Cynthia Good Mojab, MS, IBCLC, RLC Ammawell Email: [log in to unmask] Web site: http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html