I agree wholeheartedly with this: >IMO, babies are smart enough to know where the milk is coming from. >I tell parents that when taking a bottle, baby will focus on the >container regardless of whe is behind it. So in giving a bottle, >baby will "bond" with the bottle, but not necessarily with the >bottle holder. With bathing and/or massaging, baby will bond with >the person doing it and are therefore much better actions to take to >bond with baby. Bathing baby can be Dad's "hands on" time with baby >and feeding is Mom's "hands on" time. Since my area of focus is breastfeeding adopted children, I have a specific interest in the topic of bonding and, specifically, the tremendous advantages that nurturing at the breast offers, over bottlefeeding. These benefits are obvious, even in full-term babies who are born normal and healthy and come to their adoptive mothers soon after birth. However, there are two groups of babies with whom we see especially dramatic results, which come specifically from nurturing at the breast, regardless of whether the adoptive mother is producing milk or not. One group is infants who have been in some way compromised, by FAS, exposure or addiction to drugs, prematurity, other health problems that have required traumatic medical treatment, etc.. The other group includes babies who have come to their adoptive homes at an older age; anywhere from a few months to several years old. My third child fit into the first of those groups and my fourth fit into both of them. These children are now 13 and 12, and I see the benefits to their having nursed, (Thomas from 2 weeks old to four and half years old, and Julia, from 12 months to 25 months old), all the time. Over the years, I have worked with many other moms who adopt older babies. Most commonly, these babies are adopted internationally, and somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 months old at placement, but some are quite a bit older. I have never had a mother tell me that she did not see a tremendous difference in her child, once she has succeeded in teaching him/her to accept comfort and security from the breast. Many of these mothers had spent time lovingly and attentively bottlefeeding, prior to establishing breastfeeding, but not seen the same dramatic results until the child was actually suckling the breast. This was certainly the case with my Julia. The benefit is not only in helping the child build a strong attachement and intimate relationship with the adoptive mother, but in helping the mother feel more secure about her place in her child's life. Bottlefeeding is definitely not equal to breastfeeding, for establishing emotional attachment. I feel that a father is more likely to establish intimacy with his baby through activities such as infant massage and bathing, as well as cuddling skin to skin. Aloha, Darillyn _________________________________________________________________ The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html