Jack Newman has a good article on guilt and breastfeeding, which I mentioned in my letter to the newspaper re: dworkin's article http://users.erols.com/cindyrn/newman.htm Michelle ----- Original Message ----- From: "Michelle DePesa" <[log in to unmask]> Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 11:23 PM Subject: GUILT again - and inappropriate reassurance > I am deeply perplexed by all these accusations (especially the Dworkin > article) about breastfeeding making mothers feel guilty etc. etc. I was up > quite late last night trying to think of a single other instance in life > where anyone gives a rat's patootie about women feeling guilty. There just > aren't any. Women are made to feel terribly guilty if they are too fat, if > their nails are too thin, hair too limp, asthmatic children are said to be > the product of "smothering" or "unaffectionate" (depending on the year) > mothers, it goes on and on. You are guilty if you go back to work; guilty if > you don't. Guilty if you resume sex after childbirth, extra-guilty if you > don't want to. And look at this advert I received recently in the mail for a > migraine medicine: > > http://www.michelledepesa.com/zomigad.jpg > > and don't forget the crash-test- dummy PSA with its not-so-subtle hints > about where you'll spend eternity if you don't put your child in a car seat > (see Kathy D.'s post on this). > > YET -- mention breastfeeding, and folks come out of the woodwork from all > walks of life, (but especially book writers and hcp's) waving their hands > and begging us not to make parents (especially *mothers*) feel guilty! Can > it all be chalked up to the obvious fact that there is a very expensive > consumer product at the end of this "protection" (one that after just a few > "hits" the user is hooked)? Or is it more than that. > > Books (even those by Sears and Sears) commonly succumb to this as well. The > authors list all the fabulous reasons to "choose" breastfeeding and their > info sometimes good, but then it sums up a segment on bottlefeeding by > asserting that if you choose bottlefeeding "whatever your reasons" you > should not feel guilty, ABM fed kids do fine too, etc. I see this all the > time. Everywhere parents are urged to consider the ramifications of their > choices - EXCEPT with breastfeeding. The problem with this pre-emptive > assuaging of assumed guilt is that it really is inappropriate reassurance. > Anyone on the fence about breastfeeding will stop when they see that kind of > info, or read the Dworkin article or similar. I know I do this a lot. When I > wanted to hear that ibuprofin was ok to use during pregnancy, I kept looking > until I found a source that said so - I read the warnings, got concerned - > *but kept looking* until I found the reassurance I was after then *stopped* > looking. I see this often with women who are ambivalent or undecided about > breastfeeding. It only takes one such bit of evidence and the search ends. > This is what worries me the most, because that inappropriate reassurance is > everywhere (as we saw in the "pros of bottlefeeding" handout many of us > critiqued). > > Michelle DePesa > *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html