In those cultures which have post-partum sex taboos, it means the woman must abstain from sex with anybody -- and it means any kind of sexual activity. Usually, it is explained as being the "heat" of passion and the semen that can enter into and contaminate the breast milk, thereby making the baby sick. The husband may be quite free to go have sex elsewhere, starting with his other wife or wives, girlfriends, prostitutes, and including masturbation. That all just depends on the specific culture. However, you need to realize that the focus people in western cultures put on sex and sexual gratification is not a cultural universal. There are many many cultures where women don't have orgasms, there is little to no foreplay of any kind, and sex is a quick "scratch that itch" kind of thing for the men and of little enjoyment at all for the woman. And no one cares. In my book Dancing Skeletons I talk about how the women don't really care that their clitorises are removed in childhood because sex is usually quick and without preamble or post-coital cuddling, and even if they had clitorises, there is little chance they would be stimulated enough to reach orgasm. And no one cares. They have much more important things to worry about, like getting food on the table, and the survival and health of their children. Karl Heider's book about the Dani of highland New Guinea talks at some length about the difference in attention and importance placed on sex in various cultures. The Dani, you may recall, are the ones who nurse for two years, but don't have sex for 5 years after the birth of each child. And no one seems to be overly concerned about it. Just like our culture teaching us that breasts are sexy, so it teaches us that sex is something big and important and a prerequisite to a happy life. This is culturally learned, not innate. Yes, we all have sexual desires, and as Rachel points out, some more than others regardless of whether they are pregnant or lactating or not, and it depends on your age and your hormone levels, etc. But it also depends in huge part on your cultural teaching. It wasn't that long age that women in Western cultures were not thought to have any sexual urges, and their pleasure was not important -- wives "doing their duty" for their husbands were urged to turn their faces to the wall and "Think of the queen." The cult of sex is relatively recent, and limited mostly to western cultures. Kathy Dettwyler _________________________________________________________________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html