Even before Michelle asked for helpful resources for a client in marital difficulties, I wanted to recommend to this list the book "Marriage in Motion: The Natural Ebb and Flow of Lasting Relationships" by Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz. Of course, marital counseling is way beyond the LC's duties, but this insightful book might help her better understand all the different stresses a client may be facing. The book, which is nicely conversational and full of anecdotes, points out our romantic, and almost unconscious, assumption that true love and true marriage is unchanging and constant. Thus any change is cause for panic, doubt and revisionism ("Maybe this was never 'true' to start with!") And the downward spiral is hard to break, since the guilty parties tend to look for more justification that things are undeniably bad. The authors point out that the healthy marriages are more "tidal," with times of growing distance and distraction, followed by a coming together. This is not to encourage any complacency about a drift apart -- the good relationship's "distance alarms" are designed to re-focus the couple's attention. Just to make this more on-topic, the authors also make the point that a shared project, like a baby, can be a wonderful coming-together point for a couple, and there are several positive references to breastfeeding scattered in the text (including a rather startling, off-hand remark about one friend wet-nursing another's baby.) *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html