> We need to let Moms know that
>   they CAN have a lot of control over their exclusively brfed infant's fdng
>   schedule, IF they desire to exercise it. That is, some Moms may be happy
>   to have a baby permanently attached to their breast while others may want
>   more
>   flexibility and predictablility. It is important for us to help them play
>   their part in the dance that is brfdng. and help them to realize that at
>   times they will "lead" the dance and at times they will follow.
>
 Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. Do we need to tell
mothers anything? What I
  find is most helpful is to listen to them, to ask them questions...
but I admit I have a bias and tend
  to guide them (by the way I frame the question and the choice of
positive language) to the idea
  that the transformation that takes place with the birth of a baby is
the most wonderful experience
  in the world. What if they don`t want to be transformed? I don`t know.
I don`t meet many who
  don`t. I hear from many, many mothers who are overwhelmed, and many of
these don`t see that
  as part of a transformative process. For instance, earlier this week I
had a call from a mother
  who said the nurse told her her baby was using her as a pacifier. But
when I asked her if she
  was concerned, she just said, ``No, she just made it sound like a bad
thing.``

So by talking in our meetings about how wonderful it is to follow a
baby`s cues, to learn to give up
control, to comfort a child at the breast, and to have him constantly in
your arms, well, I guess I
have to say that we are doing what we need to do: changing the world one
mother and one baby
at a time. Sure you can breastfeed and *not* do this, but what would be
the point, really?
Jo-Anne

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