That would be Capt. Corelli - as played by Nicholas Cage, in Universal's upcoming "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" - returning a shy, sensitive Nazi captain's "Heil Hitler!" salute. Corelli appears to be fluent in Greek (hard to say because everybody speaks English with what I guess are "balkanized accents") and so he is in charge of Italian troops occupying a Greek island and Penelope Cruz in 1940. Corelli is irrepressible (until he is blown up twice, after which he develops a morose demeanor) and very Italian. As such, he organizes his troops into an opera club, sings a made-up solo in the Anvil Chorus, issues threats against anyone who'd rank Donizetti with Verdi or, this to his German friend, would even mention Wagner. Just your typical made-in-Hollywood Italian. The director, John Madden, who tried (and failed) to ruin Tom Stoppard's script for "Shakespeare in Love," carries the operatic theme to a rousing climax when word comes of Mussolini's surrender. Ecstatic soldiers crowd onto packed trucks to ride around and spread the news - doing what? Singing a rousing chorus of - what else? - "La donna e mobile." I kid you not. But you don't have to be an opera fan to be confused by "Mandolin." It takes a little known slice of World War II - Greeks against Italians in Albania, Italian occupation of Greek islands, Germans taking over, some of the Italians joining Greek partisans, etc. - but it's all just a background for the beauteous Cruz (whose Roxane would make the tragedy of Cyrano unnecessary) to be torn between the magic mandolin and the call of the fatherland. Throw into the mix a curious cast to support the excellent Cruz and Cage - including John Hurt, playing a Greek doctor, and Irene Pappas, playing a caricature of Irene Pappas - then spread a numbing script thin over the landscape. . . and you have a clear incentive to forget "Mandolin" and instead just play a tape of the movie in which Cage and opera got along much better: "Moonstruck." Janos Gereben/SF [log in to unmask]