Whenever I hear people talk about kids like this -- as though children should never intrude into one's life, it just makes me so sad. Children are a major major committment. If you don't want to make that committment -- including taking care of mentally or physically disabled kids or sick kids -- then don't have kids. Even a 'perfect' baby can become disabled at any moment. Same for spouses. That's why most marriage vows include the line about "in sickness and and in health." If you're not ready for the committment of a child, get a cat (not a dog -- they take too much care and attention). Or better yet, get a pet rock. Having the husband-wife bond be the 'center' of the family, a la Rosemond, is also found in Ezzo materials. I agree that the children are not part of the marriage. But children ARE the center of the family. And once you have a child, the marriage should take second place behind the 'family' -- parents and kids together. If we take our cue from our nonhuman primate relatives, the basic social unit among ALL primates is the adult female and her dependent offspring (who are dependent for many years, even long after they wean). To this basic unit, one or more males may be attached at various points of time. Adult females may be solitary (only hanging out with their offspring) or several adult females may hang out together, along with all the dependent young. Kathy Dettwyler _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html