In a message dated 12/15/0 12:12:29 AM, [log in to unmask] writes: << Every time she nursed the baby she put pressure on the older child to breastfeed again. It was by far the most unhealthy nursing relationship that I had ever seen. >> Ah, this is the point I was trying to get to. I think by delineating part of our relationship with our children as "the nursing relationship", we are adding to the problem we are seeing in the media. Do we ever refer to the "artificial-feeding relationship", the "nighttime relationship", the "playground relationship". Breastfeeding isn't inherently a relationship, but rather an aspect of a relationship. When I think about relationships between couples, it seems the same--that we only delineate the sexual aspect of the relationship as something separate--we do indeed refer to a couple's "sexual relationship", but not their "parenting relationship" or their "housework relationship". In a sense, I think we all have sexualized breastfeeding by talking about it in this way. If there is an "unhealthy breastfeeding relationship" between a parent and child (and certainly a father's coercion away from breastfeeding fits this bill, as well), then there is plainly an unhealthy relationship between the parent and child. It is unlikely to express itself in only one aspect of the relationship. When there is sexual abuse by a parent, it manifests itself in multiple aspects of the relationship. I tend to suspect that if only bf is the issue, then it is more likely society's issue than that of the parent and child. Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html