Dear Lactnetter, This mother has been in contact with me and has asked me to post the information below (which I have already responded to). If you have any suggestions for her, respond to her, not to me. Thanks. -----Original Message----- From: [log in to unmask] [mailto:[log in to unmask]] Sent: October 4, 2000 3:07 AM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: (no subject) Dear Dr Newman- I am not subcribed to LACTNET and was wondering if you could forward my letter to this list. I have copied it below ( i sent it to you about a month ago) Thankyou Tania Berlow > Dear Dr Newman, > I wrote to you a month ago asking about the use of ssri's during > breastfeeding. > Thankyou for the advice and most of all the support . > i needed to have someone remind me why i am still breastfeeding my child as > during depression nothing seems worthwhile. > i am feeling much better but wondered if you had any other suggestions for my > continuing situation.. > The reason for my depression and anxiety are mainly over issues surrounding > the father of my child who i left when i was pregnant.He is american and I am > british and i moved back to britain when i left him. > He is currently seeking court ordered contact with my daughter. > below is a letter i typed to the attachment parenting network in > britain(Natural Nurturing Network or NNN) of which i have been a member since > pregnancy (and believer in ap principles for many years).If after reading the > below you have any suggestions please contact me . I do not know of any > advocates in Britain who would be able to show how overnight contacts may > interrupt a breastfeeding relationship nor how to reference the benefits of > attachment parenting as regards her emotional well-being and security and how > being away from me who has been providing the security and nourishment may be > detrimental to her. > I am not opposssed to overnight visits (would love my first lie in for two > years!)but feel that she is not ready becasue she is still nursing (child led) > Thankyou > Tania.....please read below > > Dear NNNers, > I am looking for anyone who thinks they can offer me advise or support > through thier own personal (or anecdotal!) stories. > The father of my child is seeking contact and for the last 6 months i have > been agreeing to one week a month with no overnight stays.(3 days with him, > one with me, three with him)Until she was 18months old she had not met him > and I had hoped that it would remain that way. > The contact as it is arranged now has prooved stressful as my daughter does > not see me for three days straight and i feel that it takes a week to get > back into the groove with her.He picks her up at 9.30 am and brings her back > at 7.30pmish although i have told him to make it earlier so we can bathe and > talk etc before sleeping.She is often really grumpy and wants to go to bed > the moment she comes home or she is really hyped and/ or insecure and needs > to sit up and be with me until 11pm. > She will be 2 at the end of October and I'd describe her as outgoing and > confident. > He is now pushing for more contact and i am opposed. > We do NOT have an amicable relationship and his presence makes me very > uncomfortabel as i feel he is bullying, controlling and manipulative .these > are the reasons i left him in the first place. > My lawyer has said that the courts will undoubtably "award'`him the usual > British scenario which is every second weekend and one day during the > week.However, the weekends means overnight visits two nights in a row. > As an NNN member I do not feel a need to go into my parenting practices as > they are probably similar to everyone elses...she is still nursing although I > have chosen to cut it back somewhat in these last 6 months as i have been > very stressed out and depressed. > and of course we share a bed. > I would like to know how other people children have fared in similar > situations and if there is anyone out there who managed to convince a court > that their alternative parenting style was what their child was used to and > therefore it would not be in the childs best interests to have overnight > contact until she indicated, either verbally or by showing that she was no > longer night nursing ,that she was ready > I have little hope that the court will take nursing and bed sharing into > consideration so any stories about how you prepare a two year old for this > kind of seperation would be much appreciated too. > Thankyou > Tania in Dorset > (01305 871 628) *********************************************** The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html