Oh, Esther, I don't have any concrete help, only lots of empathy and good
wishes for you & your little one! I'm pretty sure your milk will in fact
come back with the measures you're taking - keeping him nursing has got to
be so very important for both of you right now! And it's normal and OK for
you to be feeling very upset by this sudden turn of events; it's upsetting,
and when ovaries go, there's a huge lot of emotional action, both hormonal
and emotional. So hang on, it's a bumpy ride!

Be sure to keep up your own fluid intake, even if you aren't eating much
yet - you will heal so much better yourself, and of course you know it's
important for your milk. And *please* continue to take the pain meds you
need! I have had 2 C/S deliveries and a hysterectomy, and I know how painful
the recovery can be. You know how we always tell new moms who have had a C/S
for other painful procedure w/the birth to meet their own needs for pain
relief, much the same way the airlines tell you that if there's an emergency
in-flight to put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help your child
or others? The same applies for you - perhaps even more so, because your
baby is older and there's been such a disruption for the two of you.

As to the hormone balance and that aspect of things: I am very confident
that you'll be able to override the temporary disruption caused by your
illness and surgery. It will be OK - it just may take a little time, and
with a 26 month old you know that at least you aren't his sole resource for
survival (as with a newborn or younger baby). It seems quite normal to me
that your supply may have dropped pretty drastically with the surgery -
among other things, the surgery disrupts the blood flow throughout your
body, so the "normal" nursing hormones don't get to their sites of action as
efficiently, but with the nursing and pumping and adequate fluids, rest, and
pain control, it will get better.

Can you go to bed with your little son and nest up there together for a
while? Is it just the 2 of you? Do you have friends who can help by bringing
you food and fixing your meals and stuff like that? This is a situation
where it might be worthwhile to hire someone (a college kid? an older
"grandma?" a doula?) to help with all the "stuff", so you can cuddle up and
restore your relationship w/your son. And maybe, when he starts feeling
better and is more rambunctious, get  someone to take him out & "hop" him
(as we used to say, when my daughter had a bunny rabbit that needed to be
taken outside to play sometimes).

But I know I don't have anything to say that you aren't already aware of!
Hang in there - I know it will work out! I will be thinking of you & sending
you my best wishes for a speedy recovery!

Cathy Bargar
Ithaca NY

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