The visual I get when I read about the couple Rebecca is dealing with is of
a world-champion domino arrangement designer.  He sets up the dominoes
carefully as can be, with forks and curlicues and marvelous twists and
turns.  Then he starts it, and all that's left to do is admire the cascade
and keep his and everyone else's HANDS OFF until it has run its beautiful
course.

If this is his genetic child, then it was his half-genome that set off the
wonderful cascade of hormones that was first witnessed in the pregnancy test
and is now culminating in lactation.  He doesn't have to micromanage it to
take credit for it!

Maybe the mom could use some prompting to avoid being an untouchable madonna
and child in the rocking chair.  I wonder if there's much problem with
"daddy jealousy" where it's the norm to have baby sleep with the parents.
If dad holds mom while mom nurses baby, dad doesn't have to be just a
spectator to the oxytocin flow.  But that's taboo in many cultures, as if a
child "contaminates" the husband-wife bond or a father "contaminates" the
mother-child bond.

My husbands sure enjoyed babies on their chests like Esti suggests.  Many
people are so eager to stimulate the tiniest babies with quilts of different
textures and toys with various sounds.  When baby's stomach is full, a fuzzy
chest, firmer flesh, a deeper voice, and a different scent can be the
perfect complement to what mom provides.  So glad Pam's prescription for
trust-building worked well with the family she dealt with.

Ruth Piatak, LLL Leader
Plano, TX

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