Heather commented,
<< Anecdotally, I find the more mothers have been through with
 infertility, pre-birth surgery,  whatever, the *less* likely they are
 to bf.  >>

I agree, and have two related anecdotes.  One is of my brother in law, a
physician, whose son was born with a tracheo-esophageal fistula that was
repaired surgically on day 2 (I've posted about this before) -- he told me,
"Other things are just more important for us to worry about now than
pumping."   And the other is an african-american mother, who, when I mused in
conversation that it would be great if more african-american mothers felt
encouraged to bf given that their community's health is so much worse
statistically than that of other Americans (by which I meant, mainly, is so
much less well supported by society!), replied to me in exasperation, "Black
health in America is worse because of entrenched racism, and black mothers'
choice of feeding method has very little to do with it!"

And while on some level I disagree with both of these parents -- to my mind
kids who have other problems to fight, whether they are problems of birth
defects or of fighting societal prejudice, need the health-support of bf even
more than other kids -- I also see their point.   Bf's improvement to their
life may be a "bigger number" than for another kid, but it could still
represent a smaller proportional factor in their health, because other stuff
just looms really large.   And as parents they do, indeed, have other things
that they need to worry about.

So I have come to feel that management is really key here.   Bf really needs
to be something they DON'T need to worry about -- something default, pretty
easy, normal, and extremely WELL SUPPORTED.   If it is tough it is just going
to get triaged out from these kids's lives, and in sympathy with their
overstressed parents I can see why, sad as it is to me.

Musing aloud in NYC, Elisheva Urbas

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