Hi All!

I went to visit old friends from college yesterday; had baby on 3.9.99,
he was full term, born by CS for fetal distress, had a tight nuchal cord
x4, and required vigorous resuscitation.  Apgars were 4 and 9, and once
baby started dong better, he was aloowed to start BF, with formula, also
because Mom's milk wasn't in until Day6 PP.  Mel emailed me asking for a
few tips about BF--was it supposed to hurt almost every time baby
latched on?  She was pretty confident that positioning was good, and
that she was doing everything "right."  I gave her tips and offered to
go to her home to help if things didn't improve in a day or so; they
didn't improve, so I went.  He's had only one bottle since coming home,
and a pacifier once--but BF was much worse after tha, so they threw it
away--didn't want to risk ginving it to Baby again in a weak moment!
(We live about 80 miles apart, so I had to convice her that I really
would drive that far to help her with BF!)

She really did have good technique.  Baby was sucking his lips in,
though, as he'd latch, and Mom couldn't really see that from her angle.
I showed her how to gently flip his lips back out, and how to *gently*
pull down on his chin to help him open up a bit--but *gentle* is the key
here, because this little guy is so tight in his mouth, jaw, neck and
shoulders!  Thank you to Nikki Lee for your webpage note the other day,
because that article on clenching was exactly what I needed!  The jaw
massage really helped him relax. :)  I showed Mom how to fingerfeed if
the pain didn't improve in another day or two with the new things we
were trying now.  (Now that she's made up her mind to BF, she is afraid
to stop, even temporarily!)

Also, I took a sling of my son's for them to try out.  Showed them how
to use it, and both parents tried it on, Mom first, then Dad.  Dad wore
baby for almost 2 hours!  WHen Mom fed again after Dad wearing the baby
for that time, she thought she could tell a tiny bit of improvement.

While Mom was feeding, Dad told me that he thought during the CS that he
was going to lose both his newborn son and his wife.  (He wasn't
prepared for the blood in a CS)  He allowed as how he feels helpless
when Mel is BF, and baby is clamping down, and Mom is doing her
breathing exercises to get through the pain.  So we talked about
concrete ways he could help with the BF and with supporting Mom and
running interference with well-meaning but wrong statements made by
friends and family that she should quit BF.  When I pointed out what
Kathy D said the other day about a mom who isn't BF has a body that is
hormonally grieving for the dead baby, you could see the CLICK as Dad
realized *just how important BF is in ways he never imagined!*  I also
gave him the URL for Cindy Curtis's website--he was amazed at the wealth
of information you've collected, Cindy!)

Before I left, I gave pep talks to both parents individually and
together, and information, and even "lectured" the baby about how
nursing would be so much fun once he realized that nobody was going to
hurt him again in his mouth (he was intubated during the resus.); my 4yo
still-BF son also talked to the baby and explained that nursing is "good
for you, you know, and I can even nurse and talk."  Parents had renewed
resolve to stick with BF with determination and patience, and it was the
neatest thing to see!

Just wanted to share this--and the looks of amazement and wonder when my
little boy talked to their baby about BF was a most interesting
thing--they realized that it is NORMAL to BF for "so long."

Hope this helps someone have a better day--it made my day!

Linda Zeiner, RN, in Dallas, TX