>
>     Our culture has become so addicted to the concept that we are
>supposed to only do what makes us happy or brings us immediate joy,
>that we lose a lot of the good stuff along the way--pride in
>accomplishment, joy in fulfilling a commitment, feeling of
>achievement through meeting a goal.  I don't think this means people
>are more selfish today than they were in the past, I just think they
>have been taught to have different expecations about what they are
>supposed to feel and how they should respond to those feelings.


I think there is much truth there!

I would go further, and I would say with feeding, the whole notion of
persisting with something that is difficult has been turned on its
head so it can become actually *wrong* to want to do it! I hear
mothers say they feel they *ought* to stop breastfeeding because it
has become something they are finding hard, and this can't be good
for the baby who somehow reads the mother's mind.

You see sloganising, like 'a happy mother means a happy child'  and
this is used to justify urging mothers who are finding bf difficult
to switch to formula feeding.

At its extreme, it's like saying the mother must never 'allow'
herself to be unhappy/exhausted/stressed in case she 'infects' her
child with this mood.

There seems to be little praise or love for the mother who actually
dislikes breastfeeding, but who continues to do it, because she loves
her baby.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, UK

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