For the record, I am not affiliated with LLL.  I do respect the people who
belong to this organization and their work, but I don't feel my words should
be any reflection on this group.

As for the part about the inconsistency of my words vs. my support of any
area of discrimination (as one post mentioned), I find this to be a
defamatory statement.  First of all, everyone has their prejudices, but that
doesn't mean they discriminate.  There is a difference.  I was very clear in
my posts to the list that I was stating my opinion.  I have NOT discriminated
against any breastfeeding mothers, NOR have I supported discriminatory
actions against ANY group of people.  Saying that I feel indiscreet public
breastfeeding is unnecessary in most cases and that discreet public
breastfeeding is not a bad thing either, does not constitute a discriminatory
act nor is it a support of any discriminatory action.  It's a personal
opinion.  How one choses to infer meaning from my words is not something I
can help and I do NOT want my views related to those inferences.

My original post was to say that I felt many on the list were getting off
topic regarding the mom who was harrassed and had her rights violated in the
waiting room of the doctor's office because they appeared to be blaming her
for her having been abused.  THAT was my point.  Notice, I am SUPPORTING her
right to breastfeed in public.  I was pointing out that her rights were
violated and that this was the issue... not the fact that she did not stand
up for herself as many on the list felt a need to point out.  To address this
issue further, is it realistic to think this mom would go from being afraid
to say, "I have my rights and you're violating them," to taking off her
blouse and bra and forcing others to accept her rights without regard to
their feelings?  I was only trying to point out that while standing up for
herself would have been great, she might not be ready for that, which I also
addressed.  She *might* however, be able to learn/continue to breastfeed
discreetly which will allow her time to grow in her ability to defend her
rights and she might not risk the confrontation of others.  I try to meet
mothers on their ground...not force them to come to mine.  I tend to deal
more in reality.  What is, rather than what *should* be.  Guess I'm not what
one would call a dreamer, so I'll leave that to others with higher ideals.  I
applaud those who dare to dream however, because you are the ones who fight
hard to make changes.  I work to help others live with the reality of the
situations.  I think both types of people are needed and that there is room
in this world and even on this list for both of us.

I will always boast about my decision to breastfeed my babies for their
health and the bonding it allowed us.  I am happy that so many on the list
were able to breastfeed in public places without being harrassed.  Progress
is wonderful.  I also don't know if bringing mothers and infants into public
places in the hopes that someone will confront them is the answer.  I feel
promoting open indiscretion and expecting these women to stand up for a cause
is not necessarily in their best interest.  Whether or not a mother wants to
learn how to defend her right to breastfeed in public and wanted a
self-assured person to help her, I can't see risking the problems that might
ensue by looking for a problem.  The infant is also at risk in this
situation, as are all infants who's mothers are caught in confrontational
situations.  I know I have had more mothers express concern about how to
breastfeed discreetly than how to breastfeed openly.  Should I tell them,
don't worry about discretion, just cast off your garments and breastfeed like
it's nobody's business (yes I know that's the ideal, but I do not feel it is
realistic).  I don't think I'd be helping them meet their goals if I did, nor
would I be answering their questions.  I *would,* however, tell them they had
rights to protect them when breastfeeding in public and that they can
breastfeed anywhere in this state and know that the law is on their side (as
I have done numerous times).  Again, that's the reality with which I am
dealing.

As for the breasts as sexual objects, I do feel breasts have 2 purposes, not
just 1, and I believe if we want the support of many of these women's
partners, that issue does need to be addressed.  Try telling the majority of
men out there that if their partner choses to breastfeed, it means they will
be completely disrobing from the waist up in public and I'd be willing to bet
many women lose their partner's support.  If you tell me this doesn't
matter... that women need to just do it anyway... that men's opinions do not
matter, I will tell you there will probably be a great deal of very unhappy
breastfeeding women (if they decide to try it anyway), because we who do want
loving relationships with our partners do need to take our their feelings
into account.  Do all men feel this way, I'm sure they don't, but I have
worked with many men who's fears were put to rest by being told that
breastfeeding could be done discreetly in public, if necessary, and who went
on to be supportive of their partner's decisions to breastfeed (including my
own husband).  Roaring because we're women is fine, but I don't feel we can
roar alone on this one if we want the partner of the lioness to be
supportive.  Besides, if a woman has to meow quietly rather than roar to keep
her partner from roaring, and that leads to both purring together, is that so
bad?  I call that compromising (and I don't mean one's womanhood either).

Veronica Scott

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