Kathy Writes:
"  However, mothers spend an inordinate amount of time
> and energy stressing over why their baby (or themselves as mothers) don't
> fit the culturally-constructed norm or ideal. "

I put things into perspective for Moms this way: I tell them that people
don't know what  to ask about babies because babies don't "do" too much and
that there is 5 things I can guarantee people will ask because that's all
they can think of.
1.When are you due? (which evolves into "Are you STILL pregnant?") - Moms
all nod their heads at this one!
2. How much did the baby weigh?  - Again Moms nod.
3. Is he/ she sleeping thru the night?
4. Has he/she started solids yet?
5. Is he/ she walking yet?

I then use the opportunity to explain that "sleeping thru the night" is
officially 5.5 hrs - not 8pm to 8am {it sounds less appealing in that
perspective}  and reassure them that this line of questioning is "baby
conversation" not a "baby report card" and that they should tell the
questioner what other things baby is up to - smiling, etc.
 and I use #4 to lead into when it is appropriate to begin solids.
I also tell Moms that if they find themselves trying to defend what they
are doing vs. older practices [ starting rice cereal at 6 weeks like
grandma did] to make me the "bad Guy"  My doctor told me that's best for
baby - etc.

Gail
Gail Hertz, MD
Pediatric Resident
author of the little green breastfeeding book - disclaimer: owner of Pocket
Publications