>While reading "The Bi-Polar Child" book, I noticed that the authors equate fussy, irritable babies with children who turn
>out to be bi-polar (manic depressive). I found this a very interesting link. How many babies do we see that are just
>"not right with the world"? Or even toddlers and young children.
>
>
>>This certainly held true for my high-needs, fussy baby who is now almost 15.
>>He is autistic and bi-polar with lots of sensory issues.  There was
>>something "not right" with him from birth, always nursing, in arms or sling
>>and slept very poorly.  He was dx'ed ADHD at 4, autistic (Aspergers
>>Syndrome) at 9 and bipolar at 10.

While I agree that there are a large assortment of factors that could affect newborn breastfeeding patterns, 
I am a bit concerned with the implication that all babies who are fussy and irritable have serious problems. 
It may be true that all bipolar children start off as fussy babies, and I think parents need to be encouraged
to seek out more knowledge, more help, for babies whose behaviour and health alarms a mother. And as health care
professionals or volunteer support people, we need to learn as much as we can about how early "treatment" (not
necessarily medical, also support for parents who are facing more challenges)can help. 

However, I don't think it follows that all fussy babies necessarily have serious mental health or learning issues. 
I think some (many?) babies who want to be in-arms all the time and don't sleep well, who need attention 
24 / 7 and still seem to find life outside the womb difficult, are simply challenges to our expectations. 
And, in my case, 7 out of 7 would suggest they may even be the norm. 

One thing I find is a lack of understanding of the range of behaviours children exhibit. That's why I'm 
drawn to books on children's temperaments or learning styles. These resources both widen what is normal and offer
approaches for the whole child, the individual child. For instance, Raising Your Spirited Child distinguishes between
ADHD and highly perceptive children in a way that is useful, and also offers a lot of techniques for parenting a highly
perceptive child who might be identified as ADHD by others. 

In fact, I think that the higher the needs of the child, the more of a difference mothering-through-breastfeeding 
makes. It was my more intense children that really honed my mothering skills, although I didn't really know that 
until long after they weaned. It is my belief that children who have a lot of difficulties in the early years 
can grow up to be the most delightful people of all. 

Chances are, many of our children might not feel right with the world at some point, and as newborns most babies
don't seem to understand why they are here and not still in the womb. Many (most?) of us might also feel, at some
points in our life, that we don't fit into the larger society. It's hard to know at what point or for what reasons
this becomes a real matter for concern. Perhaps some people have a high threshold for affection or for happiness; 
they have to have more of it put in before they feel all right. I keep coming back to the idea of the "love template" 
I read about on lactnet.In any case, for any child who doesn't feel right, a mother who tries and loves and nurses is always the right 
fit, and I figure it's bound to help to some degree. 

Jo-Anne 

 

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