Ellen Schein wrote:
What happens, in fact, is that as soon as the mom deposits the baby in the
capable (but generally not as capable as moms) hands of another caregiver, and
the baby starts to cry, it is then automatically assumed that the baby is
hungry. This, I believe is the start of an unending battle....I recommend the moms
get the baby used to the caregiver first, before initially trying to feed
him/her whilst she is absent. I advise mom to leave the bottle and to leave ebm,
but not necessarily to encourage its use. Not at least, until the baby has
calmed down. It is surprising how this advice also calms the mom down and
encourages her to try a more gradual (if at all) approach towards leaving the baby
with others.

I just realized that another factor may also be at play here. A
normally-attached breastfed baby gives hunger cues which occur before crying ( the old
"crying is a late indicator of hunger), and mom responds. If the baby is used to
this, but the caregiver is waiting for or looking at crying as the premium sign
of hunger, no wonder the feeding attempt goes badly.... As well as the baby
perhaps not  indicating hunger but grief, baby may also have indicated hunger
signs earlier which were missed and is now too stressed to accept anything
new...I mean, I can't eat when I'm crying either! :)
Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, Brooklyn, NY, over the post limit today!

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