Catharine -

What an excellent piece of writing! I'm glad you said each and every thing
exactly as you said it, and I for one really appreciate the reminder!

Several years ago, before I was on Lactnet and "knew" all of you wonderful
souls (including Jack), I was really offended by an article in JHL by Jack,
in which he was basically warning about the use of nipple shields. It seemed
to me, at that time, that he was insulting RNs/LCs, implying that they were
lazy and just looking for the "quick fix" and not cognizant of the risks
inherent in even the best use of shields. I knew his name and reputation as
a big wheel in BFing promo/support, so I was surprised and offended by what
he said (and I didn't know then his marvelously curmudgeonly style - an
attitude I'm proud to share!). I happen to share his skepticism re: the
too-casual use of shields, but I felt that he was a doctor intruding into
the non-medical field of lactation, and I thought he was essentially
attacking LCs. So I responded, in a letter that was published in the
Journal, saying something about what I perceived as his distrust of
lactation professionals, and that helping women breastfeed successfully was,
after all, what we do professionally, and blah blah blah, and that it seemed
to me that he was contributing to the adversarial relationship between the
two, yada yada yada...He responded calmly, in print, that he stood by what
he'd said.

Well, I was a foolish upstart, and now I see that I was just responding out
of defensiveness for my own fledgling profession, and that furthermore I was
being a tad arrogant myself, but anyway, that's what happened. Now that I've
been in the company of my fellow lactnetters for a couple of years, it's
quite clear to me that I was reacting to Jack's writing out of the
frustrations I had with my own local pediatricians, many of whom
consistently *did* give bad and misinformed advice (especially to my WIC
clients - but that's another subject) about BFing, which had been of course
further fed by the fact that these same docs thought that all LCs were
extremist nuts. I resented being lumped in with the "nuts", because I'm
*not* a nut, nor am I "extreme" (maybe I'm a little alternative, but I'm all
for appropriate immunizations!) - I'm one of the most practical and "ad hoc"
people I know, and even inordinately protective of mothers' sensibilities
and feelings (sometimes, I confess, even at the expense of breastfeeding!)
So...one thing feeds on the other...

And anyway, that little published tussle with Jack is embarrassing to me
now, because I was reacting and taking personally something that had nothing
to do with me, and I have tried to learn from that. I don't always succeed,
but I'm working on it. Sometimes I do say things bluntly, to make a point
and for effect, and because I am dreadfully curmudgeonly and crabby in some
ways, and because (especially when I first joined lactnet) because I feel
that I am among "my own" here and safe, but I'm trying to reduce the number
of times I let insulting or hurtful words fly from my mouth or my keyboard.
Many of you have corresponded with me privately, and I've learned a lot from
you about the nature of this internet forum, and tried to modify my style a
bit. And so I really do appreciate Catharine's words!

(And besides, I'm a terrible blabbermouth, exposing this embarrassing little
peccadillo with our beloved and eminently proactive Jack!)

Cathy Bargar RN IBCLC
Ithaca NY

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html