Nikki - I don't do as much 'repair' work as you do, but I do so
recognise what you are saying from what mothers tell me, when they
are trying to lure their babies back to the breast. They do sometimes
say that co-bathing and skin to skin as you describe 'doesn't work'
as the baby gets 'too upset'...I will tell them now that someone who
works with babies like this a lot has spotted this cycle of
behaviour, and that if they can hang in there, loving the baby,
accepting the outburst(s), they are maximising the power of this form
of re-connection.

I find these situations so distressing for mothers  - they need a lot
of support. They say things like 'he makes me feel I am the world's
most rubbish mother'.

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor. UK

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